Ear lowering exercise

I got my hair cut today. I never know what to say to the question "What do you want done?". I don't know, can't you read my mind? That would be easier. Luckily today, I had planned my return phrase. "This long please, shows length and the same all over." Had a nice silent cut. No nattering about holidays, or the weather, the only communication mid 'compendi facere' (look it up) was when the hairdresser dropped a comb into my lap. "Good catch". Good catch? how could I have not caught it? Lastly comes the dreaded look at the back of your hair. Try and sound like you care, or if you do care, try to sound like you are happy with it. "Is this ok?" Nods. Yeah, yeah thats top stuff, brilliant, yep, thats great. "How about the other side" What do you mean "what about the other side"? Surely the other side is the same! I'm not a Topman model. Nods again. For sure, that looks brilliant, excellent, yep, thanks, top stuff. "Do you have it messy?" she asks. What! I like to call it au naturel or tousled. My nearly two year old niece thinks its messy, but I'm not paying you to say I'm a lazy bum. Lets use some technical terms here please. Yes I have it messy. Finally, I got smacked in the head with a hair-dryer, then had my head gently tousled while candle wax was massaged into my scalp.

I paid £8.50 for the experience, got a free tissue, and now I can see. Bargain.